Self Portrait with Roots and Burn Marks

after Eduardo C. Corral’s poem Self Portrait with Tumbling and Lasso

I am hurricane and placid lake, stretch 

marks and smooth fluted lips, 

full of fatigue, mouthing protest. Nothing 

about me is fable – more twisted 

vine. My bite, leftover internal bleeding. 

and I am not a doctor, but I am a healer, 

specializing in performing open 

heart surgery 

on myself, preferring a pen 

to puncture paper. 

My ribs 

cage an iron maiden 

that only tortures me.  

My heart is a wild weed showing up 

in flower fields covering 

all my broken roots. 

Legs thick 

and capable of keeping 

my balance on this wall 

I built with broken nails.

I still jump to conclusions, always 

hoping for more… Fall

but never in line. Get desire 

and thirst confused.

I am just a junkie for fixations 

and endless intercourse

with a bit of wood 

to keep me burning.

Am often haggard by waiting, believe 

every broken promise.

Change lanes without a blink.

Stopped believing in comfort 

zones when they turned 

into roadblocks. Reality 

is a slippery slope.  

My mind – for sale,

 wondering if I need space.

Feel like barriers are starting to cave

in. The elephant in the room

has always been me.

I wear too many labels, 

most of them fit, but I seem 

to prefer those that do not. 

The price tag of my spine

always paid 

with my tongue, a devil in 

the details. Truth is the dirt under 

my fingernails.   

I am unrestrained 

heart-strings. ‘am low and high

down and up. Often lose my stability 

when things go numb.

Must I always be playing 

the fool? La La La La La

Take everything 

too far down rabbit holes?

My pieces e’er puzzling.

I never want to hurt myself 

but hold a black-belt 

in my own mental beat-downs.

A faithless soul that housed 

demons until I learned 

to banish them.

I am an untamed dragon 

brimming with fire. My wingspan 

shimmering

Eyes that change colors 

with the seasons of anger 

and love. I can be sultry

or cold shoulder.

My flirt 

forever flickering. I will leave 

burn marks.